I imagine the inside of my mind, the veins and arteries and muscles of my body, the pulsing of blood around my heart, to be a garden, a sanctuary, a safe place to live inside of. POP–in the midst of reveling in this returned-to-again-and-again state of being, I pulled The Wheel of Fortune card 2x both upright and reversed this week so “wheeeeee” to the unknown floors that have and will be pulled out from underneath me, and “WHEEEEEEE” to navigating through external shifts with my heart centered. It gets easier with time—easier and easier to stay with me in spite of changes. The power of relying on myself for my inner peace >; The power of turning to and utilizing my rituals >>; The power of seeing the world around me–the people, the events, the discomforts, the surprises—as symbols designed to enrich and refine my soul–intricately placed as mirrors and opportunities to ascend deeper into love and alignment >>>.
Through learning about the breath a lot recently, and how much of our breathing throughout the day is connected to our ability to speak and move from a place of truth, love and compassion, I have been able to stay aware and open to invitations, gifts, blessings. Able to stay authentic and true to myself. When the breath is constricted, shallow and hurried it is more likely a person will react instead of respond, or be defensive instead of curious and humble. It’s an ever-unfolding acceptance that I am the creator of my world, the reigns being the tools I have and continue to return to and nourish. It is easy for me to let go–so what? I enjoy being light in my body, and I enjoy being on the vibration of love because it is when I am in a state of love I am playful, open, able, bold. I don’t have to leave this state if I don’t want to. When illusions presents themselves, I say “I SEE YOU” and stay in the juicy flow I have created for myself until everyone around me joins in or leaves (muahaha).
Practice–think of it all as opportunities to practice. There is no “end” of the victory–no finish line to cross or last chapter to read before the book reaches it’s end–it is an ongoing series of victories where you accumulate more patience, and more space for love to dig it’s roots down deep.
Why I Am Exempt: I want you to win. I will not argue with your offenses or defenses. You come in, I make you something to drink, make sure you are warm. You leave, I wish you bliss and fulfillment. You are powerful, yes. You are a winner, yes! For YOU there reading: I visualize your shoulders loose, tilting your chin back to laugh beside the amber light of dawn and dusk. Your glass is filled by someone who adores you, and sometimes that person is you.
My prayer is that all your patience, all moments of striving under the ground, are rewarded with acknowledgment, comforts–that there is justice done by what work has been done in the unseen, the dirty, the days of being blindfolded and told to keep going.
I want you to FEEL the sensation of “winning” so much it becomes your default setting. I want to put “OH MY GOD–I DID IT!” into a bottle and give it away for free. I want this feeling to build more and more every day, every month, every year. I want it to become so much of what you are aware you are made of, that any mutterings of falsehoods or shortcomings, any voice standing in a game they’ve created themselves shouting, “C’mon let’s see whose got it!” is left bewildered by how much you are celebrating their existence, praising their gifts.
I want the propensity of anyone’s need for battle to become deflated in the light of my ability to give, to love on, to see the richness in everything. This is not disdain or resentment merely disguised as generosity–this is a potent, chest-opening, knee-dropping, tears-for-all-we-are offering. This is felt. This is tried and true from a lifetime of Vasalisa-as-my-guardian presence. This is a “Look at me–you are a fucking GIFT” potion, and I give it to anyone with their hands out, anyone whose eyes look into mine. I give it away in my dreamworld. I never run out of it. I am made of it and so are you. You are left with your trophy in hand and a game with no opponent when you come to my door. There is no interest in divide and conquer when you know who you are.
There is power in being silent. There is power in patience. There is power in softness.
This is your reminder that nobody is responsible for uncovering your lids of longing, for taking the words out that express your deepest needs, except yourself. It is no one else’s responsibility to tune in for you. It is both your birthright, and your responsibility to bring into harmony what you say, do and believe–what you say, do, and desire.
Love on me with your thoughts. Love on me without saying anything. Love on me as you would the first seed you've ever planted in the ground. Walk around The House of My Heart as if you know where I've placed the glasses, my favorite dress, a picture of my mother. Paced and patient, feel the carpet on the skin of your feet. See the mugs I've left by the sink, by the window, beside my bed, and smile. Leave your shoes at the door.